What to take to your first post

So you have had flag day and found out your going to Beijing! or Bratislava! or Brasilia! or anywhere else under the sun.  Hopefully it was #1 on your bid list and you don't end up crying but either way you may need to do some shopping - so Cheer Up!

Let's assume the employee already has work clothes covered.  And you know how to dress your kids and yourself.  But do try and remember to think ahead - kids grow and may need more or bigger shoes, pants, who knows what before you come back to the land of Target again.  No one was ever sorry about buying kids too many socks at Target.  Or underwear.  Or picking up some random stocking stuffers off those end caps where little things are on sale.  THIS is a VERY good idea, so try and remember it!  Pantyhose can also be hard oversees.  Trust me.
Now, what else will you need to take to post?  UAB and HHE.  And maybe a consumables shipment.  Exciting stuff!

If you are new to the adult world you may need to actually buy some adult stuff.  Queen sized bedding.  Pots and pans, baking sheets, knives - knives are a biggie because there is no ordering knives off Amazon, real dinner plates and silver wear.  Some wine glasses.  When your just starting out you do not need to go crazy.  Simple.  You will add more later.  Try and stick to plain white and then you can add to it with whatever strikes your fancy.  You can probably pick up all this adult stuff at Target, or Wal-mart or Crate and Barrel, whatever your budget.

While you are perusing Target and other such big box strip mall stores in NOVA, you may want to think about the holiday seasons.  It might be nice to put a fake Xmas wreath (or a little fake tree) or a fake pumpkin if you are going someplace hard without pumpkins.  If they have the stuff out for holidays, pick up something.  Holidays overseas can seem sad and it is nice to have a little something to remind you that it is Halloween or Thanksgiving if it 110 F outside.  You don't need to go crazy, just a little something that doesn't seem too tacky.  Do more if you have little kids.  Also, if you can get your hands on a few Halloween costumes, you will be thankful later.  Trust me again.

Next up - what to really put in your UAB and your HHE and what to take in your suitcases.

The Marine Corps ball at post

The Embassy Prom…or the Marine Corps Ball, whichever.  Same thing.

  There will always be one woman, at least, at every ball who wears something totally inappropriate.  Wether it's the 40+ year old with 7 kids who stands about 4'9 and has a tailor made dress.  A tailor made dress with a neckline so plunging it goes all the way to her waist band.   Or the wife who has a really nice figure, but decides to go with a sequined dress that practically has cut outs for her breasts.  It can be distracting and frankly ridiculously embarrassing for the wearer of the bad dress.  Don't be her!

You can never go wrong with classic.  Ask the CLO, or a woman who has been at post at least a year what the ball is like.  Floor length or shorter?  Tropical posts almost all tend to be fine shorter, but not hot pants length shorter of course.  Ann Taylor has dresses.  Nordstrom has dresses.  J Crew has dresses.  You can have a dress made if your at a post where that is done.

And while you may have princess fantasies you would love to act out, the above dress would never be appropriate at a Marine Corps ball.  Or anything else that requires a hoop skirt.

Clothing or how not to look like an ugly American

Or I could just call this post 'don't wear yoga pants outside your house' seriously ladies, yoga pants are not actually pants meant to be worn in public.  You may wear them at home or at the gym.  Or even on your way to and from the gym.  Do not wear them to go pick up mail at the Embassy, to your child's school or to do the shopping.  You will look like an ugly, lazy American.

If you have no idea what to wear, get on Pinterest or Polyvore and look through some outfits.

It is not that hard to try and sometimes look put together.  Jeans, a clean t-shirt that fits, cute flats, or tennis shoes - almost anything besides flip flops.  Put a few minutes aside on home leave or R & R or whenever you shop to work on some things that go together.

At many many international schools it is easy to pick out the American moms.  Embassy moms tend to go even more extreme in the 'I don't care what I look like' mode of thinking than other American expat moms.  Everyone has bad days when you don't have it in you to pull something together, but more days than not, you should try.  A little.  It is not that hard.  You could even procure a few acceptable causal outfits from Target.

Be wary of online forums

There are several different online forums for FS people.  Blogs are one.  These are good, even if they feel a little stalk-y.  Do a google search for 'post x + expat blogger' and you are likely to get some hits.  Unless your going somewhere super tiny and a bit unpopular.  Still do some searching, you might find some info from a backpacker blog or who knows who.  Unless the person in also FS, I would be very very wary of contacting them.  Unless you share some odd hobby or something.

Then there are all the Facebook groups.  There is a fb group for every kind of FS person under the sun. Most are terrifically annoying.  They are places for people to ask dim questions, whine and complain openly about why they cannot ship peanut butter or what iPad apps they should download for their toddler for a plane ride.  A lot of these people need to get a grip and just stop.  If they need stroller recommendations, they should ask people they know with babies, not several thousand strangers in the FS.  Or their sister with a baby.  Or look at the flipping amazon reviews.

All that said, these are good places to find out info.  There is a search option which you should ALWAYS use before asking a question.  Otherwise you will find out that the FS, is in fact, full of a lot of know-it-alls.

Luggage in the FS

Some people swear by LL Bean rolling duffles.  Some by non rolling duffels.  Others buy Samsonite or luggage with special wheels.  In the end it doesn't really matter.  Just buy enough of them.  Use the 2 bags were person you get.  Really!  Buy them at Target or Wal-mart or TJMaxx.  One woman I know bought Chinese market suitcases that were so poorly made they reeked of petroleum.  They eventually fell apart.  But for a few trips, they got the job done.  No one cried when they had to be tossed, one by one.  This is one thing that does not need to be over thought.  But do try and not buy crazy luggage, sometimes you might want to blend.  Hot pink zebra pints or using a giant plastic tub in lieu of real luggage just makes you look weird.

Welcome to the FS, now do your homework

You and/or your husband have been invited to an A-100 class - FINALLY!  It felt like it took forever, right?  Congratulations!

 Now, it's time to do your homework and be prepared and not show up and be 'that' wife.  You will soon know the one I mean if your new, if you have been in a while, you already know her.  Or a few hers at different posts.  Male spouses never seem to have problems being 'that' spouse.  Maybe men don't go for high drama?  Keep up the good work men!

Step one will be getting to Northern VA.  There are many many long term hotel rental type places.  Bridgestreet, the Oakwood, the Residence Inn and on and on. Google 'short term corporate housing + DC or Rosslyn or NOVA'  Just pick one.  It is not the end of the world if you live somewhere and are the only FS family.  You will likely only be there a few months.  Do not spend sleepless nights worrying about this.  Really, it will work out fine.  If you live 'alone' so to speak, spend the months seeing the sights in DC and enjoying the food/grocery shopping.  Sign up for language.  Or do Rosetta Stone at home.  No matter what you choose to do, it will be fine.

Next up will be the often talked about luggage in the foreign service!